Twice the Power
by Blondesquirrel
Summary: Troubles brewing in Sarah's perfect life... but whats a Goblin Queen to do? SEQUEL TO POWERS, READ THAT FIRST! JS
1. Oh no! Not another story!

Light was fading over the majestic realm of the goblins, blood-coloured light glancing off the Labyrinth which stretched beyond the horizon for miles and miles. There, deep within the darkness of a city of stone buildings, in a castle in a room stood a man of regal and noble poise with hair the colour of spun-gold and a woman sat on a throne of silver her bright-bright-emerald eyes glazed as she pondered deeply on the mysteries of the world...

_I wish I had a Twinkie... or an Oreo... mmm Oreos... I like them... with the yumfulness... God I'm bored... Twinkie Twinkie little choc, how I want to... umm... eat you. That doesn't rhyme... oh well... Sarah? Are you in there? Man Twinkies taste good... real good... but which is better Twinkies or Oreos? Both are Sarah? no not sarah... both are yummy... hang on maybe I'm doing that thing again when I space out for like an hour and people start talking to me but I'm to busy thinking about really random things like twinkies... SARAH! Yup... that's definatly what's going on... maybe I should speak outloud now... Yeah... lets go with that..._

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY TWINKIES?

Jareth sighed and resisted the urge to strangle his strange if not beautiful wife. "Sarah can you please warn me when your about to go off into Sarahland for more than five minutes?"

"Only if I can have a Twinkie."

"Done."

"Yay!" Sarah did a little dance in honor of her victory against spandex and took said Twinkie -which had magically appeared there in the land of the goblins with its little sparkly wrapper and the choco-tasty yumyums...-"You were talkin' at me your majesty?"

"Yes" _must resist urge to bang head against wall _"I just recieved word from Drui and Lehir they're stopping by this weekend, apparently they have urgent news..."

Sarah gasped "Oh no! Not another little kitten stuck in a tree?"

"No. Apparently it's even more urgent than that"

"Well then we must hurry and prepare! Come milord death and glory await!" Sarah rushed from the room down a generic stone corridor in the Castle beyond the Goblin City, a slightly bemused Goblin King following her, he hesitated for a moment before asking

"Don't you mean death OR glory?"

Sarah turned with a decidedly evil smile

"No..."

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In the velvet darkness, of the blackest night two figures crept towards the home of one of the most respected and feared rulers in the land, blackened blades would have glinted if they weren't blackened... glinted like the eyes that from hooded face's shone with no expression. The pair spared the smallest glance at each other before beggining the climb up a sheer-stone wall, they moved like liquid darkness up the walls, silent as the grave or more. After a grueling twenty minute climb these two cowled figures reached the highest window of the highest window; they paused for a handful of seconds before slipping through the open window into the moonlit room. The clock on the wall read midnight, they shared an inward sigh looking at the draped bed where a sliver of light illuminated the faces of two motionless sleepers, one male one female. The woman turned onto her side and muttered "'Cause the door is so much harder to use..."

**AND WE GOT A SEQUEL! Short and sweet babies, expect longer chapters when I figure out a plot! This is for Saffy and LL and everyone else who held a gun to my head and said WRITE DAMN YOU BITCH! I love you guys and please, tell me where you want this to go, I have a few vague ideas but... uh... and please come up with a better title!**


	2. Please god not the hair!

**HEYHEY! Long time no see! I know I know... It's just that I've been busy and unispired but now seen as half my town has blown up and we all have to stay inside in case the toxic smoke cloud gets to us I've had the chance to pick up the old.. uhh... storyful ness... Yeah, sorry I havent answered any reviews in this chappie, but they were like 6 months ago and my internets out at the sec... so I'll write this, stick on the net when I can and update it whenever I can, christmas coming up... that should be a good writing time... **

"I still don't get why you couldn't have just used the door..." Midday found Sarah in the substantial palace gardens, having failed drastically to follow Undeground fashion she wore a pair of ripped jeans and a black t-shirt that read 'My name's Sarah and I'm the Queen' in red with 'ask me how' scrawled across the back. She sat quite cheerfully and in a most unregal way under a tree at the edge of the Labyrinth with the two cloaked figures (who turned out to be Druissia and Lehirerano) and Jareth. "Come on Sar' we gotta have some kind of style!" Drui protested back pulling a face at the Goblin Queen.

"D-baby, theres a thin possibly squiggly biro line between style and insanity!"

"And you crossed it some years ago" Muttered Jareth quietly

"Hey!" Sarah launched herself at Jareth "Your supposed to take my side!"

"NOT THE HAIR PLEASE GOD NOOOOOOOO!"

They fell laughing at the sight of the high and mighty Goblin King cowering away from his attacking Queen who was mercilessly ruffling up his hair.

A few short minutes later when the laughing fit had subsided and the good-time memories faded the atmosphere turned somber. "So... what's the urgent news?"

The un-royal couple shared a look with each other and Drui nodded for Lehir to speak

"Well... It's like this we have a contact in the demon realms"

"My sister Assala Draia" Drui offered "Only decent one in the whole family..."

"Right, and she says, and our contacts in the Pixie and Vampire confirm it, the high ruler is dieing. And guess who's next in line.. "

Sarah gaped open mouthed at this before turning saucer wide eyes on her hubby "You're next high ruler? And you didn't tell me?"

"It's not like that Sar' I didn't know... It's decided on the death bed of each ruler who the next shall be... " Jareth ran a hand over his face "Are you two sure?"

They both nodded grimly "Oh bollocks... I better go see the court then" as he spoke a misty white haze creeped up and started to twist around his legs "speak of the devil"

At that very second a large scoreboard (much like the ones in those big basket ball games) descended from the tree in front of them and started flashing in red letters

N E W C O N T E S T E N T ! N E W C O N T E S T E N T ! N E W C O N T E S T E N T !

H O M E : 1 VS A W A Y : 0

"I'll deal with this one, dont worry hun" Sarah said to her rapidly dissapearing man "Drui, Le, you know you're way around right?"

And with that she dissapeared from the grounds with a crack and a sparkle of sequins, not before magically switching clothes to a generic white dress thingy. Jareth dissapeared a few seconds later a bit more slowly and elegantly, muttering about giant game scorers all over the castle...

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"W-w-where am I?" A little boy, no older than twelve stood by the Labyrinths gates looking around bewilderingly "Where's Kaylee? I didn't mean to say it..."

With a loud crack a strange and mysterious woman appeared behind him, her long brown hair tied back dressed in a white faintly medieval gown "Someone's been wishing people away..."

The boy turned around with a squeak of fright and frowned slightly at the woman behind him "Y-you're not the Goblin King..."

She stamped a foot in mock-annoyance "Hot damn! what gave it away? It was the hair wasn't it? Or the fact that I'm not wearing tights... well technically I am but I'm wearing a dress over the top and he never does that... I think" She frowned slightly before shaking her head _High ruler... possibly not a good thing... why can't the D and the L ever come visit under GOOD circumstances... except for that one time in July... hehe Jarey in a dress... that'd be entertainment.. oh right! Duty calling! _Sarah snapped back to reality and looked back at the little boy "Right okay now whats my line? Thats it! Right you've wished away your little sister WHICH WAS BAD well wasn't like I never did it... nevermind, yeah and if you finish the laby you get her back and if you dont we keep her... well we say we keep her in reality we just... whoops I'm talking to much! Gottit kid?"

The boy nodded and swallowed "gottit"

She patted him on the head "Good boy, now may I suggest you dont turn left when you get in there? And if you have a watch, use it!"

"But... how do I get in there?"

"oh that's easy just say the magic word"

"What ''Abracadabra'?"

"No 'the magic word' silly!" With that she poofed away again only to get a sudden vision of Tobey crying, calling to her "Oh crap, this is so much worse than A little kitten being stuck in a tree!"


	3. Commands, demands and keepers

"Tobey? Tobey?" Sarah (once more in jeans and t-shirt outfit) appeared next to the not-so-little boy who was now a ripe old age of twelve

"Sarah! I didn't know what to do! I tried to stop them really I did... b-but they wouldn't listen! They wouldn't listen to me! I tried to..." Sarah cut him off, shushing him gently and putting both arms around him, feeling her heart break as the tears fell down his young face "It's okay Tobes, I'm here now, It's all gone be okay." They stayed like this till Sarah heard his sobs subside a bit "Toby... you're going to have to tell me what happened okay? Can you do that for me hun?" Tobias Williams nodded slowly

"Yeah... I can do that... It... It's Saffy, She was acting all weird and mum and dad got scared and then they took her away..."

"Where Tobey, Where did they take her?" Sarah felt her chest tighten and stomach flip at the mention of her younger half-sister. She had watched Saffron Sarah Williams since the day she was born, kept her safe, but recently... recently she hadn't, a month maybe more... _how could this happen? _

"Singey."

Sarah's eyes widened and her breath caught, Singey was the local kids name for a place feared by children of all ages, one mention of it's name and bedrooms are clean for months. St'Johns Hospital for the Mentally Unstable. The local nut house.

"But she's only five years old!" Sarah kept the tears that threatened to spill at bay, through all her troubles, all her quests and adventures and dangers she hadn't cried, not once... but now, faced with the imprisonment of an innocent, tiny child she could barely keep her emotions in check. She held Toby tightly "Did... did she mention anything that could have been... you know... to do with my world?"

Toby nodded

"What..." she took a steadying breath, letting her sadness crystallise to a burning rage "What did she say?"

The boy's face was pale and sickly as he replied "She... She was yelling and screaming about demons... demons of pain and nightmares... The rents thought she was just crazy ya know? So they shipped her out, but I knew... I knew that they could really be... " Toby took a steadying breath too "If it is from your world... find it... make it pay"

Sarah looked seriously at her little brother, his eyes now dry but cheeks still stained with tears "I promise you Toby, I'll do whatever it takes." With those words Sarah stood, reested one hand on Toby's shoulder for a moment then dissapeared from his realm in search of answers

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Meanwhile at the highcourt of the fae a restless goblin king paced before the shadowed forms of the Deciders. Those ancient formless creatures who saw all and have decided the fate of the mortal and immortal alike since before the dawn of time.

**IT WAS SEEN. YOU WILL BE THE NEXT HIGH RULER OF THE FAE LANDS, ALL OF THE FAE LANDS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED. **

"But it is not my destiny! It was prophicised I would become ruler of the Goblin lands and all within it no more, no less"

**THE PROPHACY WAS CUT SHORT. YOU WILL BE HIGH RULER. **

"No."

**WHY MUST YOU FIGHT IT? IT IS YOUR DESTINY IT IS IN YOUR BLOOD. **

"The responsibilities... it is all too much."

If the Deciders could have smiled they would have been doing it now **YOU WILL DEAL. IT HAS BEEN FORSEEN. **

"You swear it"

**WE DO. **

Jareth nodded "Give me time."

**GRANTED... BUT ONE MORE THING... WE FEEL OBLIGED TO ADVISE YOU NOT TO LET YOUR NEW QUEEN STRAY TO FAR FROM THE GOBLIN REALM... **

With a nod and a frown he dissapeared from the room

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"Jareth!" Sarah cried as she appeared in a hallway where he had appeared a split second earlier, and had cried at the same moment "Sarah!" In unison they near ran to each other each saying in solemn tones

"We need to talk."

A handful of minutes and about five coffees later

"So your saying you have to be High King of the underground automatically making me High Queen, theres no two ways about it?"

"Thats about right, we cant fight this, it's a blood thing"

"Bloody blood things" Sarah grumbled into her sixth cup in twice as many minutes

"What did you need to talk to me about?"

She looked up at her king with trusting eyes "My sisters beens sent to an asylum because she was being attacked by demons"

His mismatched eyes widened visably and he hesitated before speaking "Sarah... I... I dont want you to spend anymore time in the mortal realms."

"What the fuck? Where did that come from? I have to save my Sister!"

"Look Sarah... I know it'd hard for you but -"

"BULLSHIT! You dont know dick Jareth. I'm not gonna to let my sisters mind be eaten by some evil demonic force because you've decided I suddenly cant go out"

"SARAH! You have to remain with the castle... the Deciders have forseen it is dangerous for you!"

"Newsflash Jareth. I-dont-give-a-fuck!"

"SARAH! I _command_ you stay within the Goblin Realms!"

"Well thats just peachy your HIGHNESS but you dont own me! You are not my keeper! I'm going to save my sister whether you like it or not! I don't care if it's dangerous, bring it on! I can take care of myself."

Jareth glared at her as she turned to leave and caught her by the arm pulling her back "Dont walk away from this Sarah! It's for your own go-"

Sarah's eyes flashed red and she punched Jareth hard across the jaw "For my own good? So be it."

With that she vanished from the room leaving one injured goblin king nursing his swollen jaw.

**Oh all is not going well for our lovebirds in paradise! But don't worry babies! Things will turn out okay for them... hopefully... if you review! Whaddya think so far? Good, bad, ugly? Lemme know okay? And as always, use me, abuse me and above all REVIEW ME! **


	4. Men are idiots and I married their king

**OKAY! This is kinda short... sorry about that luvs but you know how it is, english essays to complete and stuff... good news! School ends tomorrow so expect more updates cos I'll have nothing to do all holiday! Oooh who wants a festive chapter? A christmassy one ya know... with goblins and tinsel and all that jazz? LEMME KNOW! And now... ONTO THE REVIEWERS!**

**Saffy: I love you. I really do your babbeling makes me want to dance. JARETH IN A BIKINI? MMmmmm peach flavoured toothpaste... I was thinking of maybe the entire cast of this little tale to a showing of Rocky Horror and having Jareth dress up as Dr F'n'F He'd look so cute in those fishnets! Oooh talking about bunnies didcha hear? The engizer bunny got arrested for battery! Hehehe... I betterget on with this fic... ahh! LOVE YOU!**

**usrrcr: Wow a new reviewer! Glad ya liked it and your right the making up is the best bit... i got a couple of ideas for good make-upyness in mind Hehe! Thanks for reviewing!**

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"Look Sar' you must've worked out by now that all men are idiots?" Drui asked her friend through a mouth of triple extra multi yummy deadly chocolate icecream

"And I married their king." She took the opportunity to take a big fat fuckoff mouthful of the stuff and rubbed her forehead. They were under the scarred and slightly battered (but well loved) tree in the park where they had spent most of there last school year "Screw him, what am I gonna do about Saffron?"

"Go in, rescue her, uhh... be rescuey in general..?"

"I can't just whoosh in there and take her to the underground for- BOLLOCKS! I left that kid in the Laby!"

"he's got what? 5 hours left now?"

Sarah jumped up "Right you stay there, dont eat all the icecream!"

Drui gave her an innocent look "Would I do that? To you? My bestest best friend in the world?"

"You're right... come on then you'll have to come with!"

Sarah conjured a shiny crystal and split it into two, changing there every-day clothes into her generic white dress and Drui an identical black one.

"and the award for the most boring fashion goes too..."

"Shush ya mush! Lets just do this and rescue Saff... and plot more ways to hurt that stupid, no good, demanding, controlling, tights-wearing, spandex fetishist fairy!"

With a poof and a sparkle they were gone, blissfully unaware of the skinny guy with a ponytail sitting on a nearby bench with his jaw touching the floor (**A/N: THAT RHYMED!**)

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"Hows it hanging?" Jacob (for that was the little boys name) jumped in fright at the voice behind him, he turned slowly in fear, and was met by the sight of the first (frankly quite odd) non-goblin king lady and a similarlly dressed one hanging upside down from a tree "you could go that way" drui pointed bothways as sarah spoke "or you could go that way" Drui crossed her pointy fingers the other way "or you could say your really really sorry, double pinky swear me on your head and right to eat choco yummies that you'll never wish anyone away ever again... and i'll give you you're sister back and we can all go on with our lives"

The boy nodded "I'm really sorry! really really sorry! I wont do it again!"

Sarah nodded gravely "double pinky swear it"

Sarah stuck out boy hands and linked both her pinky fingers with the boys "I swear I'll never wish anyone away again and if I do on my head and right to eat umm..."

"choco yummies"

"and right to eat... choco yummies be it."

Sarah nodded gravely "so we swear it let it be done, for now and for always and let it harm none, right okay then! that was one cheeseburger with side order of baby right?" She turned to a now fast-food-uniform wearing Drui who conjured a... bottle of lemonade... shook her head and tried again... _little pink rhino, nope... goblin, thats not it... shoe... johnny depp... chair... bear... hat... baby... fish- hey! skip back one! _"TADA!"

Sarah gave Drui a look of extreme pity and patted her on the shoulder "there there... THERE! Here ya go... uhh... little boy of doom! Have a baby, it is the right one right? Cos if you took the wrong one home boy would my face be red..."

Jacob nodded holding onto his little sister tight

"Right now click ya heels together three times and say 'theres no place like home' threes times and in three times the speed you'll be home!"

"Thankyou! Theres no place like home. theres no place like home. theres no place like hoooooome" ))-)(POOF)(-((

"Now, we need a better plan..."

"Does it involve me not wearing a fast food uniform?"

"Maybe."


	5. A venture into the unknown

**Saffy: Hehe Rocky horror is the ultimate... J-baby in that corset SEX sigh yum Black santa hats and leather you say? Hmmm an idea is forming... AN IDEA! HeheheheheheheheheheheheheHA LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! dances Incase you havent guessed I'm writing this at 6:30 am in the morniiiing! but I'm probably gonna finish this chappie around tomorrow... hmm... How odd this will seem then... GUITARS AND MARSHAL STATS! Sorry... had a moment there... BEER: NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE okay then... Love ya baby! Your babbeling made my day completeful! MWAH! **

**AYS000: Man cool name... Blonde huh? Yeah I guess ya could describe it as blonde... being a blondesquirrel I could definatly see the blondevibe... THANKYOU FOR THE REVIEW! Much wuv!**

**Now on with the show... If I can remember what I'm writing about...**

**BONUS! I'VE RANDOMLY PUT IN A FEW WORDS FROM ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS, FROM ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES! PEOPLE WHO FIND THEM (AND GET THE SONG RIGHT) BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER GET SPECIAL MENTION AND COOKIES!**

"It's a fundamental rule of femaleness my friend, there all physcopathic, cold blooded, take no prisoners, no mercy, ruthless, inherently evil sociopaths. I say apologise screaming on your knees till ya throat bleeds..."

Jareth nodded soberly

"Further more I think you should never ever ever try to stop a woman from doing what she wants, it will only end in pain and misery, Yours to be precise"

He nodded again

"Well? Why are you still here, you should be off thinking up some non-realistic hairbrained scheme, that will never in a million years work, to get ya missus back!"

He nodded, thrice the charm and declared "You're right I shall go at once!" and hence it was done and the King of the mighty goblin lands took off to find his Queen and make right so many wrongs only pausing once to exclaim in regal tones "You're bloody good at this kinda thing mate!"

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Meanwhile on the streets of Smalltown, USA-ville a blonde haired, suitwearing women and a redhead with a breifcase walked quickly and with purpose. They conversed quietly in cautious tongues, wary of those around them, those visible and those not for where they were from the very trees and earth had ears... or at least little goblin creatures stuck in them with ears...

"Look Sa- I mean Miss Amanda Buttkiss, do you honestly think this will work?"

"Hell no D- I mean Miss Belinda Gerkinhead, I honestly think this will fail miserably and we're all gonna die but fuck me if I wont try!"

They walked in silent for a few more moments, contemplating the gravity of what they were about to do. Each woman saying her own prayers of hope, help and for sheer dumb luck...

It was with deep feeling that the crimson-haired buisness lady said "Dunno why you got to be Amanda Buttkiss..."

"Shhh Miss Gerkinhead! We're here! Now I'm gonna go all guardian angel so distract them like hell!"

Drui -who by now i'm sure you've all guessed is the redhead- saluted her dryly before putting on her game face and entering the nuthouse. Sarah stood back in a nearby dark alley when she transformed herself and with a sigh dissapeared... she was taking the sneaky route straight into the lions mouth, unsure of what she would find there, blood, death, insanity... demons and the forces of hell united... dancing twinkies... it was a mystery even to her.

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White, pure endless white. The colour of the summer clouds, fresh paper and cold, cold shiny plastic. The padded walls hardly lessend the impact of her fragile not-yet-grown body slammed into it. Demons, monsters blood drinking, shadow dripping creatures of evil, spat fresh from the molten fires of hell. Invisible except to her, no end in this madness that drove her over the edge of control, if she had arms she would fight them, if she had any voice left she would have screamed them back where they came from... they said she was born with no soul, lack of control, cut from the mold of the anti-social. She was a dead cell. But in the immortal white darkness of her young life a new colour appeared, it was white... but a warm, safe white, a colour in its own right as well as a rainbow of others and from that light an angel appeared, sent from heaven to take her soul to God's eternal heaven... or was it? It fought back the shadows like a warrior and smiled at her with a face not so far from her own, it reached for her and loosed her straightjacket. This angel's voice was so familiar and welcome, like the voice she heard whispering to her sometimes in her dreams, sometimes singing sometimes not but always lovingly. "Saffron? You're safe now... will you come with me for a while to the kingdom where the faeries live?" She barely believed what she heard, this beautiful, bright creature was offering her salvation from her pain and suffering into a place she always new existed but was just out of her reach, in a tiny voice bruised to much from screaming she said "Yes"


	6. Christmas Cheer and all that jazz

**Okay! Sorry it took so long but I've been putting this off for ages out of writing blockfulness but I'm here anyway! This is the long awaited christmas chapter! well... the few-day waited christmas chapter! After this all reviews will be replied to via the nifty new 'reply to reveiw' linky in the review emails! This also means my chapters are gonna be half the length with out the babble! Oh well! Shall we?**

**Saffy: CANDYCANES ARE FUN! You can eat them... and hang them off things... and eat them... and stick them to people when there not looking... and umm... yeah! I look forward to longer babble review replys with the new reply to review thingy... when did that happen? Anyway I better get started writing this or I never will! Luv ya babe!**

**AYS000: you are indeed correct my clever blonde friend! The song was indeed Dead Cell by those musical geniusis Papa Roach, I'll fit you in this chapter somewhere! Look out for your cameo! Thanks for the review and all! Wuv ya!**

**And did I mention recently that I DONT OWN ANYTHING except for Drui and Lehir and Saffy (the character not my pretty reviewer) and the plot.. and maybe the disco ball...? Well now I have! XD**

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Illuminated by the last desperate rays of a dieing sun, a sinster mound of an unknown, possibly deadly, material twitched. A voice, distorted and thick mumbled omuniously from its core. This wary being shifted and shook violently before from the very center of its being and finaly after several agonising moments, exploded, shiny redness rocketed out of it and from the twitching mass a very pissed of Druissia stood "FUCKING TINSEL!" She spat some of the bloody sparkly stuff from her mouth and tried to comb it out of her hair with her fingers.

A mild tempered Sarah turned from her position amougst a sea of cardboard boxes, a shiny green bauble suspened from her mouth by its golden cord "hmm?"

"The tinsel avalanched again" She said in way of explaination before returning to her task of untangeling the hundreds of glittering strings "I still don't get why we cant just use magic"

"Because it wouldnt be... christmassy! You have to keep in spirit you know Drui, tis the season and all that junk... What? Why are you looking at me like that? You look like you have a cunn-"

"I HAVE A CUNNING PLAN!"

"-ing plan"

"I think it would be very... festive... to let all those poor seasonal cheer-deprived goblins that roam this dusty castle put up this wonderful sparkly crap of joy"

"Well.. it's only fair of us-"

"They'd thank us"

"it's the"

"kindest"

"thing"

"to do"

"Your right Drui my luv, we're being terribly selfish"

"BAD BAD US!"

"Okay, you got me, lets am-scray and let the an-gobli take ae-car of it"

"Bloody pig latin, lets go batman!"

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Yes it was christmas in the castle, Saffron was still unconcious from her ordeal in the medical bay under 24 hour watch, Sarah was almost talking to Jareth who was still desperatly trying to win her back. Lehirano and Druissia had decided to spend christmas and perhaps some time afterwards with there favourite fighting fae couple -try saying that fast 5 times after a few beers- atleast untill this whole unknwon demon forces trying to tear Sarah's life into oblivion was ressolved. And it was the eve of christmas that saw a very disturbed Goblin King and banished Vampire Prince being rushed past in the hallway by two ladies of standing and power singing the 'batman' theme tune, loudly. They shared a wide-eyed look

"Not asking."

"It's your turn"

"I'm still trying to get rid of the bite-marks!"

"I'm not being attacked by woodland animals again!"

"Well I'm not being used as a dart board for the annual 'sharpened teaspoon convention' "

"Well I'm not after that time they used the AYS000 on us"

"The what?"

"Dunno... I just had this sudden urge to say... AYS000!" He clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with fear and shock

"Creepy..."

"Maybe we'll be quiet this time..."

"Yeah..."

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Okay, so it's still the eve of christmas and our merry band of misfits can be found surrounding a roaring fireplace in the heart of the Goblin Castle. Drui was poking at the pretty fire while conversing vaguely with her man of marital status on the use of 'goblin' -and 'vampire', 'pixie', 'demon' etc- before everything in that realm "I mean to they all want to be batman?" when greeted with blank looks she elaborated "He had a 'bat'-cave, 'bat'-mobile, 'bat'-arang, 'bat'-coffee maker, etc and the, lets say Goblins, have a 'Goblin'-castle, 'Goblin'-throne, 'Goblin'-king -"

"Dont forget the 'Goblin'-disco ball " Sarah interjected from her position opposite her best friend, sitting cross legged on the floor opposite her friend, back resting idely on an 'unsure-whether-he's-being-ignored-or-not' Jareth who was sprawled on a chair behind her.

"We have a Goblin-Disco ball?"

"Mmhmm, I had one put in here like a year ago"

"Oh."

Drui started setting nearby paper objects on fire and watching them glow prettily

"You're such a pyro"

"Am not... I just like the fire..."

"I WANT PRESENTS"

"Jeez Sarah, its not even christmas yet"

"Yes it is."

"What?"

Sarah pointed at the clock above the fireplace, which clearly read 2 minutes and 32 seconds past 13.

"Damnit -"

"JANET!"

"She's right!"

Sarah gave Drui a withering look "And to think you didnt believe me!"

"Can anybody blame me?"

"nah, present time!"

"But, and it's a big one -"

"I'll say"

"HEY!"

"LESS TALK MORE PRESENTS!"

With a sigh and a shake of there heads, the three non-sarah's in the room knew they had indeed been defeated and muttered under there breath as they conjured there own various piles of presents.

"Who wants firsts?" Drui asked, trying very hard to resist the urge to burn the paper-wrapped gifts around her

Sarah just grinned and aimed a weirdly shaped package and her bestfriends head, who on unwrapping it discovered around twenty, shiny zippo lighters of various designs

"How did you know?"

"Just a feeling I had you know... bloody pyro..."

Before the 'i'm not' 'am too' debate began however Sarah threw another parcel and Lehir's head, inside which was a spikey metal Collar with one of those little tag things on it which read

' My names: Toto

If found please return to Druissia

0800-666-666-666 '

Along with about a dozen pizzahut vouchers

The collar sent waves of laughter through the group and Le' proudly put it on

"You are so owned, mate"

"I may be loves bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit" **A/N: I know, I know, I stole that from Buffy... but it's just such a great quote!**

"Dont I get a present?" Jareth mock-pouted at his grinning wife who gave him a wicked look

"Maybe..." She conjured a third gift and tossed it at him after saying "Fiiiine just stop pulling the bloody puppy-dog face card!"

Inside this third, most mysterious gift was a giant peach "It's everlasting you know"

"Sarah, will you marry me?" Tears of happiness gathered in the almighty Goblin kings eyes as he hugged the squeaking girl in a rib-cracking embrace

"We're already married" Sarah pointed out while trying to escape the hug of death, when she fineally managed it she added "And if you get peach juice on ANY of the soft furnishings I will kill you."

More presents were exchanged, a new leather coat for Lehir -Sarah christined this one Delilah Pickleberry-, a set of sharp, pointy objects for Drui, a truck load of mega-mega-mega-uber-death-grip hair gel for Jareth, the night went on, Sarah was given a 'how to control your goblin king' book from Lehir and a set of four tickets to a showing of the rocky horror with a note attached saying 'Lehir+Jareth+drag?'

from Drui. When it came to Jareth's turn to 'hand over the gift or die', as Sarah so eloquently put it, he waved a wrapped present above Sarah's head teasingly saying "Am I forgiven yet?"

"Have you realised what an utter jerk you are and that you cannot control my life in anyway?"

"Yup..."

"Then give me the bloody present!" Sarah jumped him, stealing the present by force and raising another round of laughter from the quartet. Inside was a clear round crystal with a tiny, perfectly detailed scene of the peach-induced ball all those years ago. Sarah watched fascinated as the teenaged version of her danced around and around in the globe with a teeny weeny Jareth. Placing it carefulling on the ground she flung herself into Jareth's arms and held him tight "I love you too much"

His reply to this was cut off however as a little goblin scurried into the room, saying breathlessly and in fast tones "Masters, mistresses forgive me! But the child! She's awake!"

**You know the deal, 100 reviews and I'll tell you why Sarah named his coat Delilah Pickleberry. Tell me what happens next, cos I sure as hell dont know whats gonna happen! As always, use me, abuse me, review me!**


	7. There ALL after my Lucky Charms

**Okay I'm back from out of space, this is it folks, a new chapter of love FOR YOU! My Ginger Squirrel -The Sophie- gave me the name of 'Eathen' cos she is very smart. Much smarter than me. And my sis helped me with the 'Fry' bit... hehe..Woot! Here we go (and can we say hello to Brandon? Go Naoki, you get in there Girlfriend!) Oh and if Saffy seems abit lingustically advanced it's cos I dont really know any five year olds let alone remember what I was like at 5... it was either make her a little old-spoken or make her sound like a freaky baby so meh -sticks tongue out-**

"YO PAINT HUFFIN' NO GOOD HOE"

"DONTCHU CAWL ME AH PAINT HUFFIN' NO GOOD HOE YOU -**_BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPITY_**- SON OF A -**_BLEEP BLEEP_**-"

"Okay guys... this is a family show, could you tone down the language a bit? Thanks... Next up 'I see Faeries' true, un-true? Lets find out next up on the Jerry Springer Show..."

Drui glanced away from the TV mounted on the wall of the infirmary... judging by the green sparkles around it, itlooked like a new Sarah addition. "How's she?"

"Just coherent, Sarah's with her... we just have to see how this goes... using Fae healing on one so young... It's risky."

Drui nodded turning her attention back to the television

"So Uh... Eathan Fry? Is it Eathan? Right okay, you say you've seen Faeries? Tell us about that"

"I... I saw two of them! In the park... they were eating chocolate icecream... and then they got up and-"

"Wait- let me get this straight, they were ­eating chocolate icecream?"

"Yes! Under a tree! Then they got up and changed like magically... and they disapeared!"

"Okay so did these 'faeries' have wings, halos, purple skin?"

"No... they looked like normal girls, one had brown hair and the other weird black hair... and they had these crystal balls... like bubbles like inthat episode ofStar Trekwhen Spock met the Ivogians" **A/N: Made that up, never seen a moment of star trek in my life. **

Mr Springer nodded understandingly while a wide mouth Druissia turned to her husband "We have a serious problem!"

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Inside the small room where Saffy and Sarah were, all were oblivious to the current revelations. Sarah was nodding as her younger sister shakily told her what had happened, of the demons and darkness that hounded her for months on end. At first it was in dreams then in the daylight too... she suffered in silence untill she could stand it no more and screamed and screamed and untill she was sent away.

"Saffron, hun... did they... say anything? To do with me... or the fae... or this kingdom?"

Saffy bit her lip and nodded "They said... it wasn't fair... that people had to be punished..."

She hugged her sister and looked up at the medic who gave her a 'wrap it up' look

"Okay hunny, I think you better rest now... I'll see you later okay? You're safe here"

After a few more reassuring comments she left the room ready to bitch and rage to the full of her -very ample- abilty to anyone who'd listen about how bad she was gonna kill some people's asses but was stopped when she saw the faces of her friends. "Okay, what I miss?"

"Some deep, deep, DEEP shit we're in."

"Not agaiiiiin"

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"He's a flying geek! Who's going to believe him?"

"The secret goverment agencies that are ALWAYS WATCHING US!" Sarah looked around wide eyes

"Sarah, we're in a Goblin realm a couple of dimensions away from earth and you STILL think the goverment's after you?"

"There all after me! All of em! I'll never let em get my lucky charms... NEVER!"

"Okay... onto more pressing matters..."

Sarah pouted and nodded "Okay, in truth some crack-pot skinny-assed comic-book reading star trek watching... nerd of the century claims to have seem to girls 'dissapear' from the park, he doesn't know who we are, he has no proof and if he ever finds out who we are what's he gonna say 'a dead girl and a woman who's been living in mexico legally from the past three years went poof by a tree' Even the freaky lucky-charm-thieving goverment might not be able to take that."

The others couldn't help but nod in agreement to this, Jareth wrapped an arm around Sarah "We're just worried luv, promise me you'll be more careful, alright?"

She smiled "Alright. But now to an even MORE pressing matter, and no not the shortage of strange blue alcohol in the cellars, I'm talking about why some one wants to hurt Saffron... I'm going out on a limb here and saying there trying to get at us, and you know what that means folks..."

"Weird crazy guys wanting to kill you and the missus?"

Sarah nodded "Exactly. Can any one think of a reason why they'd want to kill me and the missus? Come on children, don't be shy"

The aforemention 'missus' shared a look with Lehir, the latter on which raised his hand cautiously

"Yes child?"

"Umm... the whole 'High King' thing?"

"Very good Lehir. Thats one gold star. Now something must be done about this."

They shared a determined look, and God smile on whoever started this cos hell aintgot nothing on what (and who)'sgoing to finish it.

**You have no idea how difficult I found this to write... umm plot line help people, cos I am struggling like a struggly thing... review me babies! Please! **


	8. Of Corsets and Curtains

"DO-DOO-DO-DOO-DOO DO-DOO!"

"Would you quit humming that?"

"I already quitted singing it!"

Throwing his arms around his bizzare bride Lehir replied "Now quit humming it"

"Make me"

"Mmm I just might..."

"AHHH GET A ROOM... with a veiw!" Sarah danced into the room followed by a rather worried looking Jareth

"Um Sarah?"

"Yes my goblin kingy bundle of love?"

"Do we have to do this"

"Yes my goblin kingy bundle of love"

Sharing an evil look with her best friend

"You too oh blue-haired master of schmexyness"

Oh! I've started a new chapter without setting or context havent I? Well never fear your omnipotent author is here... Velvet covered sofas filled a room whos decadance was only matched by the sheer number of blue things in it. It was no wonder, therefore, it was the banished Vampire Princes favourite room (well barring one of course... but I am so not going into that right now :P) It was about a month after christmas and all had been relativly quiet and alot of time had been spent planning. Planning what? You may ask. Revenge, futures... general plans... The current high king grew weaker every day and it was the rumour of the court that he would die within the month... and what better way could there be to relax, than a nice soothing trip to SING-A-LONGA ROCKY HORROR! The sheer drama and randomness of this splendiferous event I shall attempt to capture below. Now let us skip an hour and a few rolls of duct tape-

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"Why am I agreeing to this again?"

"Because you love me and dont want to spend the next fortnight sleeping on the sofa?"

"But..."

"Nope. Dont want to hear it. You wear those crazy spandex tights for most of the weeks this should be no change for you."

"NO CHANGE? Have you seen this outfit? I dont know wether to wear it or floss with it!"

"Shush. Now come out of the bathroom"

"No."

"Jareth sweetie, your being childish. NOW UNLOCK THE DAMN DOOR"

"Jareth locked himself in the bathroom again?"

Sarah nodded tiredly at her friendandslumped against the door, wiping her forehead

"Yeah, So how- umm..." puzzled look "why is that curtain following you?"

"Hi Sarah!"

"LEHIR?"

"He wont come out from there... I think the boys are feeling a tad self concious"

"Good. They should just deal."

The girls nodded sharply while Lehirano tried desperatly to blend in with the drapery. Suddenly the bathroom door opened and Sarah tumbled backwards to the floor. She looked up... and up... and up... "Oh! Hi Hunny! Love the fishnets" **A/N: just imagine looking at a fishnet-basque-and-panty wearing goblin king... now spin around three times and count to 30. Good readers! **The look he gave his wife can only be described as one of you-may-have-won-now-but-you-have-to-sleep-sometime-evil-laugh "Wheres Lehirano anyway? I thought we where in this together"

"Hi Jareth"

"LEHIR? Why are you inside the curtains?"

"Cos I -mumblemumblemumble-"

"What?"

"Cos I -mumblelookmumblestupidmumblemumblegirl-"

"Huh?"

"COS I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"

"Ohhhhhhhh" With a wave of a fingerless-gloved hand the curtain dissapeared with a poof... well technically it left the poof XD who did indeed look like a girl, a bustless, skinny-ass, no hipped girl with a rather angular face... but a girl never the less. And what was more was it was a girl in very few clothes. Speaking of which I am absolutly sure your dieing to know what our two heroines are wearing are you not? Well never fear as soon as the boys get over there laughter at one another, they shall notice the scantily glad wimmin and pay them some due attention...

okay, that ought to do it. When there laughter and glaring subsided each turned to speak to there respective wives and paused open mouthed doing the goldfish impression "Oh unholy mistress of all things fetish wear, I bow before your dark refrain "

"-gulp- Bloody hell, there is a God"

With these religious revelations I can finallydescribe the outfits to you oh wonderful reader! Our Darling of Darkness, The Demonic Druissia, wore a pvc corset that appeared to have been painted on with matching panties, and a touch of fishnet, whichcould be seen above the thigh-high 7-inch spike heeled boots. She smiled graciously and tipped her top hat

"We dont do these things half assed you know"

Sarah nodded, She herself had chosen a more traditional costume, a crimson silk corset with teeny black short-shorts with hold ups and a feather boa, not to mention the 6 inch heeled mary-janes that looked positivly lethal.

"Marry me?" Both guys asked at the same time, this request was recieved with two raised eyebrows and shakes of head. The rocky anything-but-horror girls turned around and walked away from there transvestite boyfriends, sarah barely paused to call over her shoulder "You ladys coming?"

"I'll say" PUNCH

"He means we're um... right behind you"

"and what fine behinds they are too" PUNCH

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Outside a cinema in London, a small crowd of people gathered, the one rather odd feature of this was the fact that the majority of them were in underwear, drag or science coats. A few smiles and admiring glances when a quartet of new people arrived, many a women and man stared entranced at a tall, handsome almost rock-star lookish man in a shiny red corset and fishnets, a petite brunette girl had an arm wrapped around his corsetted waist and was grinning at him. There attention however was also captured by a shiny-pvc clad girl her arm linked through a slightly less attractive, cheastless female with long blue hair. The crowds rapture however was diverted however when the doors opened and the crowd of misfits flooded in, amougst them stood four girls, standing opened mouthed, a skinny one with short dyed black hair and a gold top hat turned to her friend "Um Mai wasnt that...?" 'Mai' turned out to be a girl with poofed up curly hair and a Magenta-esq maids outfit on "Dont say it sophie" another girl, shall we call her say Alice? turned to them, she was dressed in a tarten-corset and black miniskirt with few yards of sheer blue netting underneath it -for the record her boobs are bigger than some countries- and gawped "But didnt you write about..." "Dont say it Al" the fourth teenager, a suit wearing, top hatted shortie named... hmm... Ellie? turned to the others and they collectivly squealed "SCANITIY CLAD GOBLIN KING!"

**Okay, sorry its all like all late... i managed to squeeze in another showing of the RHPS before writing this... see if you can spot my cameo ; Sorry couldnt help myself hehehe! Dont worry we probably wont feature in it again! Umm... yes! Next chapter: Jareth Gets Hit On and High Court Action (haha I so wanna put Judge Judy in that but I probably wont... pout) **

**Anyways my darling reviewers, tell me what you thinks, My wonderous Saffy thinks I should bring Hermione into it, what do you think? I'd have to finish this story line before I could do that though... or somehow work her into a big end bit... what do you think? Good/bad? Can you think of anyone else you'd like to see appear in this? The most original idea will be put in (maybe only briefly) and the owner of that idea will have a short cameo also! See, incentive for you to review!**

**Hugs and Peaches**

**Mai**

**xXx**


	9. Hitting on and High Courts

**A/N: PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER WHEN YOUR DONE READING THIS. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T LET THIS BE THE LAST CHAPTER!**

"Ladies, Gentlemen and those who have yet to decide... welcome to the one... the only... the Rocky Horror Picture Show! I will be your gracious host for this evening... and to kick start this entertainment lets have a display of all you unconvential conventionalists who have put on your best basques and those of you who have been dragged in drag. Ladies and gentlemen rows one through thirteen first... come on up on stage!"

"Yeep!" Sarah Squealed and dragged her sweet transvestite of a boyfriend up "Come on! That be us!" Grabbing Drui's arm they hauled there reluctant romances up onto the stage (which was set up temporarily infront of the big movie screen)

"Well well well, what do we have here? A regular little group of groupies... and may I just say what charming underclothes you all have"

Sarah And Drui shared a 'squeal' look whilst trying to appear cool

"Mmmhmmhmmm... now this boys and girls and boygirls is what this is really all about... hot young men in womens underwear" He ran a finger along Jareth's jaw "How about it sweetie, you, me, a public loo with a veiw?" He grinned at the audience while the high and mighty king of goblins turned a very interesting shade of pink. Sarah tightened her hand around his arm, her face smiling but her eyes saying 'no attacking the host!' He glared at her and stayed silent "Well I think you four deserve our first prize of the evening, dont you?" he asked the masses who all squealed and clapped, chanting 'PRIZEPRIZEPRIZE'

"your wish is my command! Bring up THE FIRST PRIZE"

A small troop of bronzed young men in gold hotpants climbed up onto the stage carrying between them a silver-blue cup of no huge size on a velvet cushion. kneeling before the host -who's name just happened to be Freaky Frank- he took the cup and held it up before the screaming audience before presenting it to the quartet. Upon it read the words 'Most Charming Underclothes of the Eve' Sarah and Drui squealed like hell while Jareth and Lehir shared a look that said 'I'm only doing this for the sex'

"Thankyou for being here tonight folks, now get the fuck of my stage, except for you sunshine you can stay as looooong as you want" he winked at Jareth who was hasitly dragged of stage. They returned to there seats to watch the ensueing parade of chic freaks... including one rather large blonde man in a pleather outfit similar to Drui's. That gave em all the jeeblies. At last however the movie started, and without fail Drui and Sarah sang along with everything as well as yelling more than a few one liners. It was only two dozen or so minutes into the movie however before there peaceful watching enjoyment was disrupted, as we will get to in due time. The whole thing began shortly after the line "You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky" to which was hastily screamed "the banisters lucky" before that joy of joy, that sinful dance of joyous partying began. THE TIME WARP! Up jumped to the audience and even Jareth and Lehir were persuaded to join in! Everyone was having a jolly good time when around there ankles tendrils of white smoke curled, slowly engulfing them and before you could say 'insa-a-a-a-a-ane' they had dissapeared.

From the next few seats over the dancing girls looked at each other knowingly "You know" said the one called Mai "I thought it would have been much more dramatic and less... cheap sci-fi" to which the one known as Ellie replied "hey, it's your story... I always thought Drui was shorter too..." "Might have been the heels"

**A/N: thats the last of our cameos. I swear!**

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In the velvet darkness of the high court room, invisible watchers shuffled there notes, preparing for the imminent arrival of the Goblin King, Queen and two felons in there protection. And in accordance to the books of destiny, they appeared, what wasnt written however was the fact that they were wearing rather kinky underwear and the two females where singing and dancing about "AND THEN A STEP TO THE RI-I-I-I-IGHT! YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HIPS! AND BRING YOUR KNEES IN TI-I-IGHT BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUST THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSA-A-A-A-ANE! LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAIIIIN!"

the ancient watchers blinked

"Okay, we're done." Sarah looked around with wide wide green eyes "Jeez this is so... cheap sci-fi. Does everyone in this freakin land have generic shadowy stone rooms?"

"I do! Remember when I locked you up and then we got pizza?" Lehir offered

"Yeah... that was some good pizza"

"I had one as a child, a really big one with cobwebby corners and cells"

"Wow... that explains alot"

"I know" Drui did what is commonly known as the 'XD' face

"You've seen the throne room"

"Yeah bloody hell that needs more cushions, less chickens."

"I'll say"

The watchers blinked again, they weren't used to this. Normally people where cowed and fearful of the dark shadowy stone room which seemed to streach for infinity in the endless gloom, with those shapless forms and glowing eyes that watched from every shadow. But this? This strange banter... it was unheard of. It was with duty and great gravity that a voice from the gloom spoke "The Highcourt has summoned you for a reason. The Highking is dead. You have been named his successor. But before you can fill his mantle you must..."

VERY IMPORTANT: DONT LET THIS BE THE LAST CHAPTER!

**HAHA! CLIFF HANGER! Well kinda ; the reason for this hanging off cliffs is for an opinion poll THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE! I'm sorry to resort to this but with out 5 votes this ficcy will be CANCELLED, it's just too much hassle if no one reads it ;**

**this is the question. What do you think should happen next?**

**Must Jareth:**

**1. fight off other competators**

**2. face this tormenter (you know with Saffy getting all attacky, that one)**

**3. Take a bride from every kingdom!**

**4. all of the above**

**5. none of the above: tell me what YOU think**

**6. Two of the above ( 1 & 2 or 2 & 3 or 1 & 3)**

**Thankies! I'm sorry for doing this too you, but I need to know if you want this continuing or not.**

**Luv and Puppies**

**Mai**

**xXx**


	10. DUNDUNDUN

"DUNDUNDUN"

Sarah and Drui sweat-dropped at the looks they recieved

"Sorry..."

"Coundn't help it..."

"Honest..."

"Ooooooookay. It says 'Before you can fill his mantle you must...'" pointed look at women with hands over mouths "'fufill this list of duties...' and it goes on to list some stuff"

"What stuff?"

"oh stuff."

"JARETH SO HELP ME GOD I'LL TELL THEM ABOUT THE SCREWDRIVER..."

"ALRIGHT WOMAN!" Embaressed look "Right duties... duties... duties... okay number one: 'remove all threats from your kingdom' "

"That means 'The Saffy Situation'!" Sarah interjected

"Ya think?"

"Nope, I act purely on gasoline and rainbows."

"Ladies! What else does it say Jareth?" Lehir poked his wife in the head with the 6-inch spike heels he'd just removed from his feet.

"number two: 'Combat any direct blood relations of previous high king who wish to challange your claim'"

"Hehe Jareth has to fight Prince Value-Pack!" Lehir laughed, dodging a violently thrown chicken couretsy of his wife

"Prince Value-Pack?"

"Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong story"

"What else does it say Jarrey-kin-cakes?"

"Ummm just some other duties... you know normal stuff"

"Like?"

"Uhh mumblemumble stuff"

"What?"

"Noth-Ing!"

"JARETH SO HELP ME GOD YOU WILL BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH IF YOU DONT TELL ME THIS INSTANT!"

"Sar' You have like six gazillion couches."

"Yeah I know Drui-y but I'm gonna make his sleep for 3 minutes of each before being pecked awake and forced to move by rabid chickens."

"It just says I mumblmumblecountriesmumble"

Lehir grabbed the scroll from him "Number three... you must... ohhh boy"

"What it say?"

"Nothing..."

Drui snatched the scroll from her husband

"It says He's got to... Ahh. That's not good..."

"WHAT!" Sarah grabbed the scroll, the trio watched as her eyes scanned the page, back and forth, back and forth...

"DUCK"

The three it the ground as a plethora (Oooh big word) of crystal's shattered againt every inch of the throne-room walls.

"YOU ARE NOT FUCKING MARRYING ANY FUCKING WHORES FROM ANY OTHER FUCKING LAND!"

**Just a small update to let you know that I'm alive and the story is continueing along, I'm going away next week for a week but hopefully I'll be able to update if i get inspired enough. One of the reasons this is so short is that i wasnt sure how to end that scene so dont be suprised if the next update is set two weeks later... hehe! Right well lemme know what you think and ideas and shit. S'all goooood! Man I got the new tomb raider game, ya know? It is just what I need. Some ol' fashion tomb raiding action! Thank god for walkthroughs! On a different, random note, how come in vampire/dracula movies the 'bad guy' never gets the girl? Like Dracula 2001, mary is offered eternal love and never-ending hot vamp sex but ooooh no she kills him for some stick-up-his-ass white guy with a cross bow! WTF? Thats why I love Queen of the Damned! Lestat gets the girl ( and who can blame the girl? Yum-friggity-yumyum!) and Bram Stokkers Dracula, Drac-y gets Mina... although he like poof dies straight away and it's like 'oh' Grr! I noticed this with Laby too, Sarah is offered love and dreams and jareth-slave but OOOH NOO she has to no-power him. WHO WOULD DO THAT TO THE TROUSERS? Mmm Spandex and Vampires... Mmm Spandex Vampires. Okay the after-note was longer than the chapter... SORRY! Love and Puppies, Mai x**


	11. I didnt know what to call this one

Drui's eyes flicked back and forth as she watched her friend ware a hole in the floor if her bedchamber. Flicking her cigarette ash into a tray on the table, Drui addressed her friend from her reclining position on the bed ''You know hun'' she contemplated the glowing end of her stick-of-death ''The floor won't take much more of this...'' she waved her cigarette vaguely back and forth ''pacing.''

"Well... It's just all so... RAGHHHHHRRR" Sarah yelled clutching her head "Why does life always fuck me over like this?"

"Sarah, it is eternally true that none of us die virgins. Life screws us all."

Despite her dark mood Sarah couldn't help but let out a small laugh. She threw herself on the bed next to her gal-pal and asked thoughtfully

"Do you know anything about this whole High King business?"

"Well... I killed one of 'em"

""Really? Bloody hell! While I'm dying, pardon the pun, to know all; do you know anything about... THE RULE business?"

"I take by THE RULE business you mean the wife business?" Drui arched a delicate brow at the glare she was given

"Of course."

"We-e-e-ell, this is generally aproached in two ways if the king accepts the duty willingly ALL the girls will be sent to the palace. BUT he can call Tournament with due reason, E.G a pissed wife."

"Whats 'Tourament'?"

"That's where the girls (still willing) fight for the position of Grand High Queen"

"He cant just say 'Fuck off you big hairy Gai's'?"

"Noooooo... not quite."

"Hmm..."

"Ooooh I know that look..."

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"Dude the floor seriously cant take much more of this damn pacing" Lehir flicked a cigerette butt at Jareth from where he was sitting sprawled over the goblin-throne, mocking the goblin king whenever his back was turned.

"But what can I do you blue-haired vampire bastard! You know she goes all pyscho when she's like this!"

He pulled faces at his as he turned to pace in the other direction, quickly trying to look innocent as he turned abruptly

"Well look on the brightside... Me Ol' Lady's probably talking her into some dumb-ass hair brained scheme to screw this wholething over"

"And that's comforting? I mean I... Your Old Lady? You have an Old Lady? Isn't that like slavery... or kidnapping or something?"

"Shut it you blonde girly git. I mean DRUI!"

"She's your... 'Ol' Lady'?"

"IT'S A BRITISH TERM YOU WANKER"

"Lehir. Your from the Vampire realms. NOT BLOODY HERTFORDSHIRE! And you do know if she ever heard you say that she'd kill you deader than a backstreet boy record"

"True... what shall I call her then? Me Bird?"

" 'ows about... My eternal heart of bleeding fire?"

"You sound like some 15 year old pretendy goth"

"And you sound like the roadie from Waynes World 2."

"HE HAD A NAME!"

"Look shut up! We have bigger problems!"

**Hehe sorry for the lateness and shortness and well... pointless plotlessness... But hey! Thats me, The squirrel da la blonde, you're skittish british purple-haired mistress of the whiplash, MAI! Hehe I made this really cute crappy drui doll... she's sitting on me laptop now! Now you may have noticed I have replaced the word 'my' with 'me' s'cos I'm trying to be more englishy. GOD BLESS THE QUEEN... bloody wanker that she is. Anyways. Enjoy! And as allways... tell me what to writeeeeee! Now I need chocolate yumyums. Review me, use me, abuse me and WATCH WAYNES WORLD!**


	12. Trash and Training

**I think I must dye my hair more than anyother creature alive... it's black now... sorry random! lets get on with this...**

"So lets go over this one more time... you get your darling husband to tell my darling husband to call Tournament, I enter this, kick the other girls arses and get to keep my queenship and spandex fetishest king"

"Yuhuh" Drui scanned her clipboard "Everything seems to be in order here... oh apart from you can't have any contact with him apart from in an offical capacity"

"Why?"

"Because if the other contestants find out they'll call the competion biased and you'll be killed for crimes against the greater good"

"Oh... Nothing serious then?"

Drui gave her a look over the clipboard "Obviously not."

"Okay then... I think you best go and have words with Lehir."

--------------------------------------------------**(I haven't used one of these dash-lines in ages!)**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lehir approached the throne room with caution, within he could see the brooding form of the Goblin King, his back to him, staring out of a window. He was absently twirling three crystals in a gloved hand, glaring over his kingdom. The blue-haired vampire knocked cautiously on the open door "Uhh Jareth?"

"What?" he snapped turning from his dark musings.

"I think... that is... there could be a solution to your troubles"

"There is?" A spark of hope flickered in those mis-matched eyes.

"You could always call a Tournament..."

"Lehir. Marry me."

"Sorry mate I'm taken"

A moment of self-doubt "But... you think Sarah would approve?"

"I should bloody well think so, It was Drui's idea and you know she cant keep her b-" he glanced around suspicously _spies... everywhere... she has spies... " _perfectly formed mouth shut

"Thats true... I shall talk to her and declare it interfrastically"

Lehir mock saluted and left the room muttering on the way out "She has him so whipped"

"I HEARD THAT!"

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"Sarah turn that trash off and come out here! We've got training to do!" Drui yelled at her friend from the garden, they were staying in one of the Demonesses safe houses, a pretty affair on the edge of the unicorn realm. Hidden in dense forest it seemed to be ripped straight out of a fairy tale, it seemed to be built from gingerbread bricks and candycane beams dusted with a coat of icing sugar snow, of course all the gingerbread and candy had been painted black but the sugary-quality managed to shine through the layers of goth-paint.

"But DAH-ROOOOO it's EUROVISION!"

"Sarrrrah!"

"Look crazy lithuianians!"

"Where?"

"THERE!"

A few moments of blank silence

"Wow."

"Yeah"

"You know that one with the beard?"

"Yeah"

"He looks like our old gym teacher"

"Oh god"

"I'm never gonna be able to look him the eye again... he'll be all like CLASS SIT DOWN... and i'll just be no mate. You were on eurovision... fuck off back to lithiuanian mate, sing me a fucking song mate"

"Oh wow... look at finland"

"There all... with the... "

"Sex."

"I love finlandish monster rock..."

Drui shook her self and grabbed sarah by the arm "Now it's training time, move it short ass" With that she dragged her friend unceremoniously outside to begin the training.

"So" Sarah panted blocking the big stick druissia was currently trying to cave Sarah's head with "I... heh... can't see... heh... Jareth... anyMORE" She slammed the stick back hard wrenching it from her friends grip and weilding it round against her

"Not untill this whole -_dodge_- damn thing is over and you -_duck_- are back as -_dive_- Queen"

Sarah stuck the pointy edge of the stick against her neck "Give?"

"yeah"

The undecided goblin queen gave her friend a hand up "I'm gonna turn in Drui... big day tomorrow"

**Wrote it while watching the eurovision song contest... I was considering adding some J/S fluff to the end of this but I just cant be bothered... oh and the gym story is actually my dad's story about his Karate Instructor... his words honest.Oh and beforeI get any hate mail I LOVElithuania and have voted for them twice BTW oh and finland... voted for them to! YAY!**

**Love to ya... sorry for the pointless ness.**

**review me babies, who do you want to see Sarah up against first?**


	13. Your mother is so

**Thanks to LadyAlira for her quick responses and great ideas, she is truelly awesome and this chapter is dedicated to her in all her awesomeness! I know two chapters in a few hours but technically it s a new day here... 2 am into a new day i should say... okay the authoress needs sleep kiddies so leave me a nice review on what you want next!**

**Sweet Dreams of Jarethkins!**

**The Blondesquirrel**

**x**

She snuggled deeper into the comforting form beside her, trying to block out the harsh light of day, clinging onto the coat tails of sleep desperatly. She felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her and heard the sleepy chuckle. She smiled as she felt a familiar hand play through her hair and opened her eyes to make some sort of clever comment but was greeted with thin air. She was by her self in the guest room of Drui's house, the sleepy memory of Jareth's arms still around her. She shivered and pulled the covers tighter, just her, here, alone.

Jareth pulled her into his arms and played idley with her lucious thick hair, amused at his only's desperate attempts to stay unawake, then remembered his own, he opened his eyes and looked down to hear whatever dumb comment she would half-yawn this morning to find his arms empty, alone in the castle. His suprised look faded as his memories of the past week came flooding back, he remembered the decleration, he remembered the advisors and the hordes of squealing princess he remembered... he remembered her leaving. He remembered that last embrace, the final glance over her shoulder as she stepped into the carriage. He felt torn in two, the warm memory of her in his arms refusing to fade from his head. He sat up and pushed the covers away, just him, here, alone.

"Okay who's up first?" Sarah was limbering up, stretching her tired muscles, perfectly aware of the small group of drooling males who had gathered to watch this specticle.

"Princess Grahhhagrok of the Stoney Mountains" Drui replied looking at the offical line up board.

"Funny name for a princess" she remarked shaking her self off and stepping towards the 'ring' where the action would take place. She was dressed in traditional above ground fighting gear, that is to say a pair of khaki shorts, combat boots and a batman t-shirt. She had a knife tucked into each boot and blades strapped to each forearm. She also had some of those weird fighting stick things, they were specially made to fit together to form a longer staff if the need arose. She cracked her fingers and neck stepping out into the warm day light, which turned the dust on the ground a firey orange. "What kind of princess is she any-" She stopped mid sentance as the sun was blocked out by the towering figure of Princess Grahhhagrok of the Stoney Mountains. Princess of the trolls. She glanced over her shoulder at Drui who was trying to look innocent, a look past between the too, the look said _'If I survive this your fucking dead mate.'_ She looked again at the Princess and back again _'It's a troll.'_ another look _'A FUCKING TROLL'. _

_"_Let's get this over with" She muttered adjusting her ponytail and stepping into the ring, a roar came up from the seats, thats right I said seats. Apparently a Tournament in a big social who-ha in lala land and a series of high bleachers and been set up about the ring, a special sheilded box sat right atop over all, draped in the colours of the kingdom of the goblins. Sarah gazed at it for a breif moment, feeling the weight of the most stunning eyes the world had ever known upon her. "Lets do this thing" With this quite self-affirmation the game began, between the skinny white girl and the seven foot troll princess with the inherited family battle axe odds were on the trolly winning but our brave heroine would be damned before giving up with out a fight. She dodged a badly aimed swing at her by the troll, who she now noticed was dressed in an impractical costume of pink gauze and solid gold. It seemed somehow morally wrong for a thing the size and shape of 4 piled up elephants to try and wear something 'sexy' but she has done it anyway. Jumping a good few feet in the air Sarah managed to grab the girl's pony tail and the princess fell screaming to the ground "You bit-chuh! Dat wasnt very nice!" she cried out in a voice like an avalanche. Sarah didnt listen though she laughed herself around using the trolls momentem against her to land hard on her chest, she flicked a blade out and pressed it against her neck before she could even breath.

"You give"

"yeeeee-" Grahhhagrok moved quickly for a troll rolling and knocking Sarah to the ground; she used this opertunity, however, to to a forwards roll onto her feet, she had a sort of feline grace like a dancer... or a gymnast... or jackie-chan or something. She moved almost to fast for the crowd to see. Round house. Upper cut. Upper cut. Roundhouse. Scissor kick. She grabbed the trolls head as it doubled over and smashed it into the ground, A thick gooey substance (possibly blood) was oozing through the cracks in her face, the troll started sobbing and screaming for her mother. Sarah let her go at this point and watched her lumber quickly out of the ring to the waiting arms of the taller, wider and craggier arms of Mrs Grahhhagrok's mother who grumbled out some soothing words before stalking angrily towards the ring "You dink dat you can do dis to my daughter! You have anoder t'ing coming!"

"Bring it wide load! I could take you anyday!"

There were screams and cheers from the crowd, the troll-mama ground her teeth

"Come on whatcha waiting for? Yo! Grah-a-groc or whatever the hell your called I thought you were ugly? Uh uh, Not now I've seen your mama! Seriously I hear your daddy takes her to work so he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye! Oh and talk about fat! Your mother is so fat she got hit by a parked car!" Sarah laughed at the expressions "Oh sorry, am I being mean, theres a good point about your mother I'm sure princess" She smiled in mock kindness "She's like a sweetie in a way... I know! Like a gumball machine... 5 cents a blow." Sarah high-fived her best friend as the trolls rumbled off crying and smirked up at the royal box, her eyes fixed on the shadow hidden eyes of the king, her king. She felt the dream rub against her concious demanding attention like a hungry cat. She tilted her head in an ever-so-slight nod to him before walking off with Drui to deafening applause.

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He let a hidden smile dance across his face as he watched her take on a troll more than thrice her size. He felt his muscles tense as a huge bastard of a troll wandered over to her but Sarah soon dealt with her without ever even touching her. She was good. She was really good. There eyes met, he was certain she couldn't be able to see him from down there but that didnt stop the connection from snapping into place. He felt like he had so long ago that day, half asleep with the queen in his arms, his queen. The only one there would ever be, for deep inside he knew, he would rather die then take another. He gave the smallest of imperceptivly small nods back, watching her retreating form one hand on his chin _things are certainly going to get interesting now... _he thought wryly.


	14. A meeting with his Majesty

**I feel I must tell you about a particular inspired moment of mine today, we** **were standing in the science block singing the snoo-snoo song, and I for reasons unknown felt the need to yell 'IAN WEARS A MOO-MOO' and ofcourse a teacher who happened to be passing felt the need to stop and ask me why I believed Ian to be wearing a moo-moo. Ofcourse your hostess had the extreme presence of mind and tact to blush and say 'umm... well...' at which point the teacher patted her on the head and walked away... YEAH RIGHT! I had to reply in true squirrel style with 'You see sir, one of ian's testicles is so immensly huge it can no longer be contained in any conventional pair of trousers known to man. Therefore he is forced to wear a moo-moo.'**

**Shoulda kept my big mouth shut.**

The tournament continued, 100 turned to 50, then to 20 then 10, and it was with the 10 that she was currently standing with. Ranged out abour the room in there little squealing huddles were a veritable cornicopia of human-shaped pink things. Big pink things, small pink things, fat pink things, tall pink things, something for every occasion as it were. Sarah was silently counting the rumber of ways to kill one of them as it nattered on at her.

"Yeah you see the goblin king actually really loves me..." _push off cliff "..._told me so in secret last night when we..." _stab, shoot, drop piano on _"... he told me I was like the prettiest..." _rip lungs out with spoon, throw in rabid badger pit, feet poisoned twinkie... mmm poison twinkie... mmmm twinkie twinkie... mmmmmmmmmmmmm so like yeah mmmmmmmmmm you can totally see how he mmmmmm like likes me mmmmmm dont you mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm think? okay that definatly wasnt my thought... apart from the mmmm twinkie bit... mmm twinkies- no wait! dont get sidetracked! Say something to "-_this fake piece of badger shit. Oh crap I said that aloud didnt I? I'm still talking outloud! WHERES MY INNER MONOLOGUE GONE!_"_

The offended princess's reply was cut off however when the royal fanfare started playing "doot-doot-doot-do doot-doot-doot-do-do-do-do-do-doot-do" Sarah hummed along under her breath as she watched the pathetic excuses of women actually QUIVERED with excitement. Sarah yawned loudly and smoothed down her dress, you see for this magical royal event the princesses were required to wear identical dresses in the colours they thought summed them up best, she surveyed the room quizically it was filled with pinks and violets and baby blues ICKY! Sarah was bedecked in deep black and serpent green. She had a thin ribbon tied through her hair with a little skull bow on it. It was at this precise moment of thought that the doors to the room were swooshed open with a dramatic flair and that babe of babes, the high, the mighty and the only King of Goblins swept in surrounded by nervous little attendents that skittered and chattered like spiders on crack. His eyes flicked over the princesses with an icy glamour, the tiniest spark of humour dancing in them as he met Sarah's eye. It was the king's royal duty to talk with the hopefuls and interveiw them for there suitablity. Sarah yawned and tapped her foot boredly as he 'chatted' with the first wave of girls, being at the end of the line herself. She listened as he talked to the 8th girl in the line "So -looks at clipboard- Fyiana, why do you think you should be queen?"

"Umm...umm.. umm... well I w-want to be a calm and hounarable ruler, with a just and firm hand?" her voice trailed off to a frightened squeak at the end and Sarah had to stop her self laughing when she saw the look of utter hawk-like suspicous attention he was giving her.

"Now Fyiana, have you ever taken any mind altering substances?"

"No! No! I would never do that not one bit sir, honest!" It was really quite funny how they turned into frightened school girls at the mention of mind altering substances.

After another ten minutes or so it was Sarah's turn, she smirked at the kind and tipped back her head in a cocky, carefree way that just brushed upon the surface of her sarcasm.

"Well then -clipboard glance- Sarah is it? Why do you think you should be queen?"

"Because I'd look so damn pretty in one of those little funky crowns... plus beating people up with a sceptre looks fun..."

"Mm-hmm, now have you ever taken any mind altering drugs?"

"What ever?"

"Ever"

She took a moment to pause and consider the question one finger pressed against her lips, brow knitted in mock-concentration she suddenly brightened up and exclaimed cheerfully

"Yes. Many times... weeeeee drugs!... Though I have been assured that the frogs arnt out to get me and that the hammer people aren't really there"

"Good good, now Sarah do you have any special abilities that make you more suitable for the position than the other young ladies here?"

"We-e-ell I can touch my nose with my tongue..."

"Perfect, any thing else?"

"I can turn into a butterfly and cat... and catterfly"

"And how do you think turning into a butterfly would help you?"

"No one ever suspects the butterfly..." Her eyes flicked left and right suspicously

"Wonderful, now, whats your veiw on the current situation in the dragon lands?"

"What, do you mean the fact that the unicorn royals have stolen the children of the dragon queen and possibly beaten and killed them in cold blood?"

"Yes"

"Nuke the bastards"

"But that seems so unfair"

"Oh dear really? I wonder what your basis for comparision is"

He was stopped in his tracks for a moment as times passed speed across his conciousness, he let a smile pass over his face "Indeed, okay I think thats all I need here... oh wait there is one question I seemed to have forgotten..." he gave her a sneaky look, eyes possitivly burning with malicious humour speaking of revenge "What do you think of this outfit?"

She choked, the urge to laugh almost to much to bear but she managed a spluttery reply "It looks like the local convention of spandex and leather frilly shirt fetishists fantasy club has exploded all over you... in the most jaw-droppingly sexy and drool inducing way of course... although you should be worried about being attacked and raped by rabid homosexuals"

"Thankyou, And thankyou to the rest of you fine Princess, it has been a veritable honour to talk with you all, the answers have been scribed and will later be used to select the last five finalist and plan the next round of this ancient and traditional combative festival. Thankyou again and goodnight." He bowed sharply and left

**Sorry for the lateness folks, I love ya, you know it. As always use me, abuse me, REVIEW ME! Oh and a special this week _WIN WIN WIN_ your characters could have a brief _CAMEO_ as one of the final 5 contestants, so send me in some character details (name, age, land, description, personality etc) and I'll pick a special _THREE_, but I'm not updating till you send in your character ideas! Go on you know you want to! Of course you cant have the Goblin or Troll lands as they've been featured... have I featured any others? I can't remember well you guys read this you should know.**

_**SO SEND IN YOUR CHARCTERS! GO ON!**_

**Love ya**

**Mai **


	15. The curious incidnt of the hungry lizard

**I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that Ian's had a testical reduction operation and should soon be able to fit into normal trousers when the cast comes off... alas the moo-moo stock market crashed earlier this week when it happened. Sorry if you had any shares in it.**

Sarah caught the staff passed to her and watched as Drui ran a hand through her already rumpled hair. "Okay Sar' one more time, now this time deflect the spell BEFORE it sets to work... because we're seriously running out of room here" She guestured wryly to the make-shift pen set up containing a quarter dozen pigs, a slightly bemused antonio banderas, five pot plants and a rather ugly table lamp.

"Gottit chief, throw ya best at me, come on bring it on, let's get down -"

"One suggestion?"

"Yup?"

"This time you might be able to concentrate if you dont start-"

"_Let's get down to business - to defeat the Huns. Did they send you daughters when you asked for sons? I'm the saddest bunch you've ever met But you can bet before we're through Mister, you'll make a man out of me!"_

"-singing" she sighed and lobbed a firey-red spell-crystal, which sarah dodged before yelling_"Tranquil as a forest But on fire within Once I've find my center I am sure to win"_

go on. Join in."

"No."

"Drui... the photos...?"

"Fine..._ You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot And you haven't got a clue Somehow I'll make a man out of you"_

Sarah did a little happy dance while dodging the angerly thrown crystals which we're aimed directly at her head and continued

_"I'm never gonna catch my breath!"_

Drui begrudgingly joined in _"Say good bye to those who knew you"_

From against the wall of the house Lehir avidly watched (and drooled at) the two young, atheletic women fight _"boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym"_

_"This guys got me scared to death!"_

From a glare directed from his wife Lehir tried toinnocent of staring andsweat dropped _"Hope she doesnt see right through me!"_

Drui raised an eyebrow andpaused on the next line

_"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim..._ okay what the hell is that abou-"

But before she could even get the words out Sarah was yell-singing happily

_"TO BE A MAN! You must be swift as a coursing river! with all the strength of a great typhoon! With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moo- _AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Drui had taken that moment to throw a particulary nasty spell at her which she only just manage to hit, unfortunatly the spell reacted on impact causing the staff to be transformed into a giant six-foot long lizard thing.

"Now that's quite enough of that fucking disney music thank you."

Sarah pouted "But DAH-ROOOOOOOOOO"

"Dont even try to 'drui' me baby. Aint gonna work. Now you pick your lily-white ass up, stick the lizard in the pen and get a-bloody-moving!"

Sarah got up and stalked over to the pen, dumping the lizard in angerly she glared at Drui arms folded.

"Look Sar' you only have a day till your next fight!"

"Not interested."

"But..."

"NU!"

Drui sighed and rumpled the hair a bit more "Okay how can I explain this too you so you'll understand"_ can't believe I'm gonna do this_ she thought wryly to herself as she took a deep, steadying breath and conjured another staff which she twirled apprihensivly in her hand before beginning _"Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive Heed my every order and you might survive" _She noted Sarah's astonished yet happy face and went on. Throwing the staff down on the floor and half turning away_"You're unsuited for the rage of war So pack up, go home you're through How could I make a man out of you?"_

Sarah picked up the staff and they continued fighting, needless to say by the end of the second chorus Sarah could deflect even the fastest-acting spell and Drui had a headache that could kill a small horse.

"Never again."

Drui stretched to relieve the tension in her burning muscles catching her wrist against the branches in the tree above her and swearing.

"You okay?" Sarah asked running to her and taking her arm, regarding the cut tentivly and poking it.She was startled slightlywhen Drui quickly pulled her arm away

"It's just a bloody scratch luv. See already healing? Now go and let those things out of the damn pen before that lizard eats something"

"uuuuh too late..."

"Not one of the piggies?"

"Nope"

"a pot plant?"

"Noo..."

_"Then what?" Drui turned to regard to pen and saw a guilty looking lizard, a suspicous red stain and a certain voidness of Antonio Banderas "Oh.."_

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_Darkness, eternal and complete. Boxed and caged. A coffin sized confinement that seemed yet deeper than the vast abyss. The trickling sweat burnt like acid, stinging the eyes and burning the lips of the beast like holy-water on the damned. That what it was, thats what it had to be damned. We cast no reflection as our very image is an afront to God. Beware of the moon. Wait. No. Which beast was it? Am I? It hurts._

_Do the bars of our prison cut us or burn us - cast no reflection - do they pour there acid into the stinging eyes of the beast. Me -us- who? What have I done -beware- save me. Break me. A growl low in the throat already cut. Will you die again? A thousand times against there laughing masks. Pressed against the chest of the devil, his wrist, mine, my blood, his blood, my damnation. It hurts. A thousand thousand life times of this for nothing more than wanting freedom? Was it freedom she wanted? Or shadows? Yes shadows, hidden, safe. The acid was there again in her eyes, my eyes the only eyes and the coffin constricted a little bit more. There was no air! NO AIR! her lungs burst in pain she would have doubled up if she could or banged her arms against the cage but she was was trapped, wreathed in pain she screamed the long and loud, throat bleeding from the sound-_

_Sarah awoke screaming, drenched in sweat and crying. Her hand was stinging, she stared down at her the burning tear shaped scar which she had long since forgotten was there. She leant back against the headboard, eyes tight shut and willed the pain away, assuring herself she'd talk to the others about it in the morning and comforting herself with the thought it was probably just a nightmare she forced herself back to sleep._

_At the same time as Sarah someone else woke up from the dream. She blinked, sighed quietly and went back to sleep._

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_A short little chapter, mainly so you dont all start eating my soul for not updating! Two out of three contestants have been selected so you still have a chance if you havent already entered your character into my little competition... Why do I always have to put my weird little depressing bits into this story? Jeez, I think the past week of watching nothing but vampire movies, listening to the queen of the damned soundtrack and reading Dracula is finally catching up with me! Oh and Draculasbride2008 hun, finally saw dracula II accension, it was the fucking sex! Sure it wasn't gerard butler butDrac'y was still pretty damn hot, and he got the girl! WOOT!_

_Oh and does anyone remember anything about Sarah's scar from the first story? Cos I sure as hell dont. Jezuz dont make me read this damn thing agaaaain! It's bad enough writing it..._

_In other news I'm writing my own independant little story thing, anyone interested in reading the first few chaptery bits?_


	16. Another Cheese Slice?

"Okay hun, you have" checks watch "Six hours before your next match, I wanna see you outside the arena in five hours"

"Yes Mum."

"I am not your Mother."

"But it doesnt stop you trying"

Sarah dropped the crystal she'd been idley spinning. It was seven AM and she'd just finished her morning conversation with Saffron. _Better than cell-phones _she thought randomly _if i could market these above ground I could make a bloody fortune. _It had been decided at the beginning of the tournament that Saffy would remain in the safety of the Goblin Castle rather than risking her being snatched from there current ill-guarded hideout.

"I'm gonna head into the Labyrinth, kay?"

"Sure thing, want me to come with?"

Drui looked at her B.F.F (-that's best friend forever to you and me laymens-) with some concern

"Nah, It's all good. I'm gonna go feed the fireys... or poke Hoggle with a stick or something... maybe catch some z's in the flowerbeds"

"How very Alice"

"Indeed."

With a light smirk she left her friend to find her blue-boy and ventured onwards

An hour and a half later found some dazzling heroine (-Sarah, not the drug yo foo'- ... -DONT SHARE NEEDLES!-) wandering aimlessly through the maze. She waved a vague hello to Steve, Evets, Arnold and Dlonra the double headed doormen, worryingly scottish dogman creatures who were a bit too fond of the gin for there own good. A few turns later and she sank down into a bed of rare labyrinthaine flowers, who were beautiful to behold but tended to poison those they disliked.

"Heres to a dreamless sleep"

Raising an imaginary glass she let the warm waves of sleep roll over her.

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Swish. Swish. Swish.

The irate swishing was the only sound in miles, that and the constant clack clack of boots on cobbled path. Jareth had taken an hour or two out of his lonesome schedule to wander his Labyrinth. He was swishing his sceptre/whip/goblinmotivator/thingamabob back and forth at an almost hazardous speed.

swish-swish-swish clack

swish-swish-swish clack

swish-swish-swish PAUSE clack

Yes folks, never fear, there is a reason for this eccentric swishclackery and the more cunning of you readers may have guessed it yet. There, elegantly sprawled by the path, jewel coloured flowers twined around her, lay a sleeping Sarah. A thousand thoughts crashed through the blonde's head, the most pressing of which was to exhale, followed by one to inhale. These were soon followed by others, mainly consisting of:

_Wake her up. No dont. But I want toooo... surely one small meeting can't hurt! But you shouldn't. I will. You can't._

It was at this precise moment his inner-reason took the oppertunity to bitch slap him hard, mentally of course. **_No. _**It said **_You willing meet and exchange words with her outside your dreams and she may well forfeit the tournament. Now follow my words close. GET OUT OF SIGHT. _**He did so, almost unconciously. **_Good boy, now stay silent and hidden and if she wakes LEAVE. _**He nodded to himself watching her as though in a dream- _THATS IT! he thought as the metaphorical lightbulb flashed on above his head he tore a crystal from the air and blew softly on it, as the mist cleared a vision appeared with in the bubble-like sphere. _

A great ball was being held, filled with hundreds of dancing people. He recognised both Lehir and Druissia at the side of the room, both dressed in identical sailormoon uniforms and eyemasks, deely-boopers precariously balanced on their heads.

"Yes, yes I do admire the psudo-satanic referances and the occult sub-context in Pride and Prejudice" Drui remarked grandly to him

"Indeed my love, another cheese slice?"

"Oh yes!"

The focus then swirled away to a couple dressed in red and gold. An all to familiar couple indeed, he had to admit he rather did like the dipped-in-jam look his hair had and the plain gold eyemask, almost identical to Sarah's red one.

"Why do you always dream in dancing?" He heard is dream self ask, voicing his thoughts.

"Because it's more fun than fishing?" she replied kissing him quickly before spinning away "Anyway it's not the sport but the company that keeps me here, this is MUCH better than my last dream" she pulled a face "yeuch."

They were both however violently interupted by the sound of a loud foghorn and the appearance of a loud scoreboard.

Sarah swore loudly, shrugging off the flowers as she struggled to her feet.

"First time I get to sleep with out having whack-o dreams and this happens!"

She brushed down her clothes which transformed into the white dress and wings combo she normally meet'n'greets in and snapped a crystal into her hand.

"Perfect timing for some little shit with a sibling complex to get sick of his sister throwing betsy-wetsy dolls at him and wish her away to MY NAPTIME! Better stop talking to myself and go sort this out"

She vanished and before Mr Rationality could even cough Jareth had followed suit, at a safe distance ofcourse.

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Mildred Von Staines looked anxiously around at the high stone walls, unsure of what was going on. When quite suddenly a haze of bright white light blossomed into view above her. It cleared slowly leaving a wave of dancing blue spots infront of her eyes as well as a beautiful woman lying languidly on her side atop the wall, head rested on hand. She gasped

"A-are you an angel?"

She looked pensivly at the child, a single white feather falling artistically from the air. After this stylish pause she replied

"No... I'm an aries"

She grinned wryly before popping a stick of gum in her mouth and blowing a bright pink bubble.

"So you met him yet?"

A still frightened Miss Von Staines looked confused

"W-who?"

"Oh you know... uh..." she snapped her fingers a few times as if searching for the words "The Goblin King... yeah thats it! You know, tall, blonde and mysterious. Got a very spandexy thing going on... not to mention the accent. Total swoon." she fanned her face with her hand "Mega hunny. No? Oh well I'm sure you will. Anyway here's the drill. You-" point "Mildred Von Staines have thirteen" points at the newly materialsed clock "To save your baby brother or he's mine forever" She spun a couple of crystals in one hand "Or... you can have this" She held out one of them "It will take you straight back home as if no time had passed at all and give you the one thing you desire the most in the world, be it a pony, a super-deluxe betsy wetsy doll... or your little brother safely returned... But!" She drew the crystal out of Mildred's way as she reached for it "You must swear never to wish anyone away during my naptime, okay?"

"Yes Miss, I only want my little brother back! I wanna go home!"

She ruffled her hair "Go back Kansas Dorothy" and handed her the crystal.

She sighed as silence rushed back, but now was not the time to dote on such times... the time...

"FUCK! I'm Late! Drui's gonna have my balls for this!" ... "If I had any ofcourse"

And so off she poofed unaware that her kingly hubby had been but a few yards away... all be it with his fist stuck in his mouth choking with laughter, that was untill

"OH SOD IT! I'm late too!" ... "And I HAVE balls"


End file.
